Isn't that the truth? All we want to do is have a great time while we're on this planet. As my favorite band, Rush, sings in the song "Dreamline" - "Learning that we're only immortal for a limited time".
When we're young we think we can conquer the world. That we know everything, and well, our parents know nothing!
Then, we become parents and learn the hard way that they were right! Boy, do we feel like eating crow when that time comes! As I call and ask for advice, I can hear my mom giggle as she tries to offer her wisdom knowing she just wants to say, I told you so or, It's your turn!
As a mom of an 18 year old girl, I have found I am becoming my mother. Offering sage advice that falls upon deaf ears. Trying to let my daughter know that the choices she makes are probably not going to work the way she thinks they will. I am at the stage where Charlie Brown keeps hitting his head on the ground. He hasn't learned at all that the football he so wants to kick is going to be pulled away from him every time!
But he keeps trying and trying.
I wish I had the answers to give, but I don't. I really think that this is a cycle that only gets broken 1% of the time. Now, I don't have the statistics on it, but using my own calculations and speaking with fellow moms, it seems kids in this age range are all the same. I look back on my own teen years and think, yes, I was like that too. And, I'm sure my mom was, my grandmother was, my great-grandmother was, etc., etc. Is it possible we can break this chain? Is there a way that maybe our kids won't make the same mistakes we did?
Recently, a dear friend told me about this great book called -
Wow! Was that a great book! I wish I had found out about it earlier. Basically, the frontal lobe in teens aged 13 - 24 years old is not fully functional. Good judgment, reasoning skills, short term memory.....all gone!! None to be had. If you feel like your loving son or daughter has suddenly become an alien child, I would suggest you read this book.
It wasn't written to make excuses for how our teens act, but as an aid to give me a better understanding as to who I was as a teen and how my kiddo has followed suit.
I was able to learn some ways in which I could show her the missteps of her thought process. Is it helping? We'll see. She will soon be on her own and I can only hope that she will spread her wings and fly and not simply flail out of the nest. That before she takes that step into the volcano, a little mom bell will ring in her head and my voice will shout out "DON'T DO IT!"
Will she make mistakes? Oh, I'm sure of that, but as our parents and theirs before them have done, we will be there to pick her up, dust her off and help to start her over again.
It's great to be young.....ONCE! I'm ecstatic to be where I am today and know that I have survived the road hazards of life. I can only hope that my daughter will not have to go through everything I did to succeed in whatever she wants to be.
As Cindi Lauper says:
"Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun"
I can only hope that all of our daughters take from this to be sure they walk in the sun.
Then, we can all be together to have some fun!